steve-o
Introduction To The House of Carr
Introduction To The House of Carr

Family

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First Class

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Went rather well. The course I'm taking is The Historical Jesus. Really enjoy the professor, Dr Dewey, who graduated from Havard Theological and was a member of the Jesus Seminar. For those unfamiliar with it, it's a literary critique of the Biblical narrative [specifically the gospels] to try to ascertain who He was and/or wasn't. A lot of Christians would absolutely struggle to sit through some of the discussion tonight; they'd see it as an affront to God. Unlike certain sit-com stars I realize that I'm not going to be able to lob a theological hand grenade that will instantaneously destroy this critique. And I'm cool with that so I'm approaching this class differently, not feeling like I need to defend God. God has some rather broad shoulders so I'm not sure he needs me to defend Him. So I'm going to be selective about my comments, taking it all in stride, seeing how the experience shapes my faith.

One of our "assignments" is to write down our image of Jesus and then revisit it at the end of the course. Interesting question to ponder. I'll post my thoughts here soon.

Otherwise, it'll be an interesting journey. Here I go . . .

School's In For Summer

I didn't have much to say last week as I was trying to live it up. I feel I'm losing a portion of my life: I go back to school tonight.

It's been five years since I finished my Masters degree and I now find myself going back for more. But at that point I was wrapping up 21 consecutive years of schooling. I have to admit that, in those last few months of academics, I was mailing it in. I was still excited about learning, but not about school.

I think this time off has done me rather well. I've been free to read what I want to read and explore in-depth the topics of my choosing. Now I'll again submit to course plans and assigned readings, forcing me to be more disciplined again. It could be just what I need. I'll take two courses this summer [one until Independence Day, the second through Labor Day] and a couple more in the fall. Hopefully I'll wrap this up by Christmas of next year.

But with the twinges of anxiety I feel, I'm rather stoked. I'm looking forward to this new challenge. I even bought a Xavier shirt a couple of weeks ago to get some new school spirit.

It'll be good.

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Getting Organized

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I've been loving the Canon S3 IS that I got for Christmas. I'm getting more comfortable with the settings and how to get the best pictures out of it. I have a ton of pictures I had yet to show off so I carved out some multi-tasking time while watching The Office finale tonight and uploaded them to my Flickr page. So if you get incredibly bored, check them out. Additional motivation: plenty of Kaelyn pictures to peruse.

Mr Mom

I've had a lot I've wanted to write about the past few days but haven't found the time. I've been busy. I've been playing the role of single parent.

Kelly had the opportunity to travel to Missouri the past couple of days for work, so it's been just me and Kaelyn the past two days. Fortunately we spend enough time alone together that I didn't think it would be a big deal. But the longest we've ever been alone is like 10 hours. So this length of time, sun-up to sundown, has been more involved than I thought. Kelly's on her way home now, and will be here when Kaelyn wakes up in the morning. The past couple of days has got me thinking.

First,  I absolutely love spending time with my daughter. She's only fifteen months old, but she has a great sense of humor. No matter how many times she insists on playing with the television [the most consistent cause of corporal punishment] she always comes back with something that cracks me up. Also, she's quite the people person. We ran some errands the past few days and everywhere we went she would interact with people. I went to Bursar office [apparently the place where they take  your money] at Xavier today and Kaelyn immediately reached out to the woman helping me with my account. As I paid my bill a group of five people in the office we surrounding Kaelyn amazed at how friendly she was.

In a related note, I'm continually amazed at how people react to a little child. Wherever we go, people smile more at us; whereas I usually start conversations, people will talk to me uninitiated. The premise of the movie Children of Men [still a must rent, if you haven't seen it] was that the world was a darker place without children in it. I guess I never really noticed until it became my child that everyone focused on.

The last inescapable lesson is how incredible my wife is. She does a phenomenal job caring for our little girl. I really didn't drop a Mother's Day post, but I'm always letting my wife know how awesome a mother she is. Before Kaelyn was born, Kelly always wondered if she'd be a good mommy. I knew she'd rock at it. And she does. Thanks, Kel, for being the best mother Kaelyn could ever ask for.

I can't imagine how single parents do it. I guess they just rise up to the call. Those are some incredible people who balance work and family all by themselves.

As for me, I'm looking forward to having Kelly home.

My Second Life

Kelly and I have been together so long [10+ years now] that I view her life as my life. It's unfortunate that I don't always appreciate everything that she has given up to be my helpmate. Kelly is incredibly talented and probably could've achieved a lot more without me. That being said, I'm grateful that she chose me to drag her down. What got me thinking about this was that, over on her blog, Kelly detailed the last twelve years of her life. They happen to be intertwined with mine. It's pretty humbling.

I am a blessed man.

Reflecting

 Still getting used to the new Wordpress set-up, but I'm liking it. Thanks to my technical adviser Brian Coates for helping me get some issues ironed out. And a shout-out to Tim Reed who suggested going to Wordpress years ago. I'll keep on adding features throughout the next few weeks, but be sure to let me know if you're noticing any glitches. It's been a pain to get the old blog transfered over here to the new one. There was a plug-in that allowed me to import the old posts, but it would only do it a few hundred at a time. In order to complete the process I had to delete some of the old blog so I could bring the rest over. So for the past couple of days I had to glance at everything I've ever blogged. It was actually rather enlightening.

I'm glad I started blogging. Sure, there are some negatives associated with it: every now and then I write something that bothers people and I have to clear it up; it makes my life and my views rather transparent, so there's no hiding where I stand on issues; and, despite what you think about the interwebs, this stuff is out there permanently- people will always be able to go back and see these posts. But those inconveniences are easily overshadowed by the opportunity to reflect on what I was feeling at these times in my life.

And I'm extremely grateful I started during this transitional stage of my life. I was blogging during our trip to Israel, during our decision to plant Echo, and during the birth of Kaelyn [well, not actually during the birth, but you know what I mean]. Some events that I thought were of huge importance at the time now seem trivial. It gives me some good perspective on life.

I'm not sure how long the medium of blogging will exist, but I'll keep at it as long as I can.

On The Back Side

I crossed over today. I knew it would happen. It was inevitable. I spanked Kaelyn.

*Sidebar: Now I know that some of you reading this might be appalled that I could do such a thing to our little girl. Before you go all Oprah on me, let's agree to disagree. I could easily mount a Biblical defense on spanking. It's all about how you choose to raise your children. This is how we chose to do it, so just respect that.

Anyway, Kaelyn has been fully sensing out her surroundings for a few months now. Off-limits for her is the television area, with the cable box and DVD player. Once she started crawling, she headed straight for it and we told her sternly, "no!" As she continued to progress, she realized it was wrong and would head towards it with a grin; she wanted to see if she would get away with it. We'd say, "no," she'd look at us, shake her head no, then proceed to go for it. At first, we'd just move her away.

Over a month ago, it was time that we let her know that we mean it. After the verbal warning, we'd grab her hand and smack it. It never phased her; I guess she still has those chubby hands that are pretty cushioned. But we continued to do it, nonetheless, hoping it would make a difference.

So while Kelly went to the hospital to visit a friend today, and me and the little girl were by ourselves, it was still same-old, same-old: Kaelyn heads to the TV, I say, "no," she looks at me shaking her head and does it anyway. I proceeded to smack her hand and moved her to the other side of the room. Without missing a beat, she crawled straight back to it.

I didn't plan on it, but it was finally time.

I picked her up and swatted her rear end a couple of times. She paused and looked at me and broke out into a huge cry. I held her for a few minutes, took her outside, and she was back to normal, happy and smiling.

Boy, that sucked. It's one of the worst experiences I've had with Kaelyn thus far. I always knew that this was how we'd raise our children, but I didn't know it would be this difficult.

I obviously love my little girl, so I don't want to hurt her. But I love her enough that I won't hesitate to spank her. We're at the beginning of a process to form her into the best woman of God that she can be. Even at this early stage of her life, she's learning. She's beginning to understand right and wrong. And she needs to understand that you can't get away with doing whatever you want in this world. Unfortunately, that means all of our experiences won't be just smiles and giggles. She's not going to like me all the time. But I can live with that.

This whole parenting thing is tougher than I thought it would be.

Going Simple

I haven't been updating the House of Carr website lately. I think it's because I wasn't thrilled with the way it looked. I decided I should just strip it down and go with a simple layout that would leave me more inclined to keep it updated. So if you don't normally go there, stop on by houseofcarr.com. At the very least, I have some more Kaelyn pics there.

I Am Jesus

No, I'm not José Luis De Jesús Miranda, but there was this one time I was Jesus. Yesterday the Enquirer posted an article about men who play Jesus in local Passion plays. They also published an article about the training that goes into such a role. It brought back memories of four years ago when I was Jesus in Christ's Church at Mason's Easter play. I sorta fell into the role. They were already a month into rehearsals when the guy playing Jesus dropped out. Dave, the music minister, knew I could act a little and asked if I could fill in. I figured I might as well give it a shot. I mean, what would Jesus do?

But it took a lot more work than I bargained for. I took over the role at the end of January, leaving me about twelve weeks to get ready. First, I started to grow a beard. I had never grown a full beard before, nor will I likely do it ever again; it was annoyingly itchy. Grizzly Adams I am not. I then proceeded to get in shape. I wasn't in horrible shape, but I didn't want people to see Jesus on the cross and ask, "is our Lord a tad pudgy this year?" So I had to tone up.

I hate working out, so my routine consisted of running and playing sports. I also altered my diet to help out the process. In addition to abandoning all sweets, I decided I'd try to keep a kosher diet [again, it's what Jesus would've done]. The "no crustacean" part wasn't a bother since I never eat it anyway, but cutting out pig from my diet was rough. For some reason it felt like everywhere we went during that time had bacon cooking. One time I ordered a salad for lunch and it was covered with bacon pieces; I picked all of them off. It was a sad, but I stuck with it throughout the duration. All I can remember is that after that last show, we headed to the local steak place where I ordered a huge plate of cheese fries. I asked for extra bacon.

Also, they insisted that I had darker skin. I wasn't about to go to a tanning salon, so I had to use that fake tan stuff. It absolutely sucked. It had a certain stench to it. And it got all over my clothes. Plus, you can never get a consistent coat with that stuff so I had to romp around town with a streaky orange hue. What really peeved me off is that for the performances they caked make-up on me to make me even darker. Still not sure why I had to fake, fake bake it.

Obviously, getting into character was difficult, but the most strenuous part was the cross scene. The elevated stage left me some 25 feet above ground level. I was tied to the cross and held on to nails that fit around my hands; there was an angled foot stand that allowed me to support my weight. There was a moment, when the soldiers lowered the cross into the hole, that the cross leaned forward, giving the sensation that you would fall forward. It took numerous rehearsals in order for me to get used to it.

And then there was the strain on my arms. For the cross scene I was up there almost 25 minutes. Even though my arms weren't holding me up, it was painful to hold them up. Every night was an ordeal. But that part of the experience is the most memorable to me. It really helped me appreciate what Jesus really went through on the cross. I was in pain just acting like I was crucified. The act of crucifixion was meant to be excruciating as well as humiliating. And Jesus endured it for us. It's unbelievable. My Jesus experience challenged me to reevaluate the way I sometimes flippantly thought about and spoke of His sacrifice on the cross.

I wasn't worthy. But none of us are. And that's the lesson I took away from that role. That's why Jesus is the most amazing figure in world history. And hat's why my life is consumed with following Him and teaching others to do the same.

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Was That Your Auntie?

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Killed a bug tonight. Killed it real good.

Normally I wouldn't boast about killing a bug. It is one of my assigned family responsibilities. We had a slew of bugs at our previous house so, whenever Kelly spotted one, I knew I needed to transition to Terminator mode.

We haven't had too many bugs here but about three weeks ago a cricket started to chirp in the basement. At first, I think we thought it was cute: a little bit of a country feel in the big city. We were out of town last week, so we were sorta hoping that he'd die or get laryngitis or something (I said "he" because only male crickets can chirp). But when we returned home, that bugger was still chirping for love in all the wrong places. And the tiled floor downstairs made it all the louder. It wasn't so cute anymore.

He was well hidden, maneuvering between our laundry room and under the refrigerator. I've spent a couple of minutes the past few nights searching him out to no avail. But after watching 24 tonight and seeing how nice guy Rick[y] Schroeder went into hardcore interrogation mode, I knew I had to catch the cricket.

Usually getting close to the cricket causes him to shut-up, but tonight he kept at it. I discovered that he was hiding underneath the drywall between the laundry room and kitchen. Clever boy, but not clever enough. I won't go any further into the details, suffice to say, the bug is no more. Victory is mine.

He was a worthy adversary.

Why I Smiled Today

  • My wife looks great with her new haircut. I never knew how much someone else's hair would affect my life.
  • My daughter is amazingly cute. I think she wakes up every morning convinced to babble incoherent phrases that I find absolutely adorable.
  • I figured out the angle I want to take with my message this Sunday. I usually spend the first part of the week researching the text and pull it all together thematically by the end of the week. I've recently noticed that my best message ideas usually come to me while I'm in the shower [sometime between "rinse" and "repeat"]. Wonder if my laptop is waterproof . . .
  • The sun was shinning. The weather was gorgeous. And the weatherman says next week will be even better. I'm stoked for spring. And for the extra hour with the early time change is most welcome.
  • I had the chance to drive around with Aaron Burgess today. While I can't really repeat anything we talk about, but it can be rather funny. Maybe he'll start a blog again soon.
  • Had lunch with some people who are wanting to plant a church in Over-The-Rhine. The neighborhood could really use a new Bible-believing church.
  • Talked to Jade Kendall with Hope Inner City. They want to start numerous churches in impoverished urban areas here in Cincinnati. Jade and his wife Kim are rehabbing a church in Lower Price Hill, ready for their first child due in April. These people are amazing.

Still smiling.

I've Got The Power

I've been suffering from a case of laptop power shortage. I came downstairs a couple of weeks ago to witness Kaelyn hiding the end of my Mac's power cord in her mouth. Wonderful. The new Apple laptop plugs are specifically designed with a magnet connection so that if you trip over the cord, it won't pull down the computer with it. Rather handy, but that makes it rather delicate; therefore Kaelyn's saliva and tongue didn't help the performance. Gradually, the cord began to function worse and worse until it would only charge on its side. Productivity went down this week.

But fortunately, I still had a few months left on the warranty. Picked up a new plug at the Apple store today. I've never enjoyed the little glow of the power cord so much.

Now, it's just a matter of keeping it away from the little girl.

Where I Am

OK, I have a lot of pots on the fire right now, so I thought I'd let you in on what I'm doing. First, things with Echo are great. We've had visitors every week this year sans one. And the visitors are clicking with what we're about. It's been a huge blessing. I've loved teaching to our group; I've never had so much fun preaching. And our core folk have done an incredible job of reaching out to our guests. God is good; very good, indeed.

Second, I've been accepted into the Graduate Theology Program at Xavier University. While I already have a Masters Degree from Cincinnati Bible Seminary, I was thinking about going back to school. After exploring the options available, I believe this was a good choice. My reasoning:

a) I learn best in a classroom setting. And this will be an opportunity to be in an environment where instructors and classmates probably won't share my theological leanings. I'll be forced to examine my beliefs even more critically.

b) I can complete the degree in a reasonable amount of time. They'll transfer six hours of my previous grad work and, if I do a thesis, that's leaves only 18 classroom hours. I could conceivably finish by the end of 2008.

c) I'm eligible for an incredible financial aid package so I won't have to take out any loans to get the degree.

d) Campus is only a five minute drive from our house. My commute is nothing.

e) I can still root for UC during the Crosstown Shootout. I think. If I can't, I won't do it.

So it looks like I'll be going back to school starting in May. Pretty crazy. But where I pick up something new, something else has to go. Therefore . . .

I resigned from my position on the Mayor's Young Professional Kitchen Cabinet. While I enjoyed aspects of the committee, there were aspects that I didn't anticipate. The vast majority of representatives are single, and none are pastors, so they have a little more discretionary time to use. I have no doubt that they'll be able to replace me with someone soon.

Overall, I'm happy with the way things are going in my life: Hot wife. Precious daughter. Great church. Rockin' job. Don't get better than this . . .

I Have No Heart

It's been a rough day around the Carr household and cabin fever doesn't help. Then, I realize that I made a massive mistake. No, I didn't forget Valentine's Day.

I did, however, lose my Valentine's Card for Kelly.

I bought while in Danville, Illinois this past weekend. It was a stellar card, too. Somehow, between there and the house, the card has disappeared. And before you think that I'm covering my rear-end, my sister saw the card herself and can vouch.

But without a card, how will my wife every know how I feel about her?

How can she understand that she's my everything, that the past ten years have been the best of my life? Will she now not realize that I'm nothing without her? Is the fact that she's the most amazing wife and mother in the world lost forever? Will the reality that even after all these years my heart skips a beat when I see her smile ever be made known?

I could really use that card. Maybe I can give her a piece of Juicy-Fruit instead.

If I were my father, I'd have boxes of Esther Price stashed around the house and wouldn't have to deal with this. He's a genius.

Uno

February 12, 2006. It was a Sunday night and I had just preached at our church. I called Kelly who was in her third week of hospitalization at Good Sam. She encouraged me to go out to eat with church folk. I said I preferred to pick up some food and come back to the hospital where I had spent every night with her. After a quick stop by Wendy's I was back in the same old room eating dinner with Kel. There was a new nurse on duty who had called the doctor to check on the baby's progress.

We both thought the nurse was overtly cautious and finished our french fries. The doctor, after checking Kelly out, said they were moving us over to the other birth wing. We didn't quite get it until he said, "the baby will be here in a little more than an hour."

It was finally time.

As they prepared Kelly for surgery, I was alone in a prep room with time to kill. I don't recall thinking much, just wondering what it would be like.

I had no idea . . .

. . . how awesome . . .

. . . it would be.

I smile constantly. I love having a little girl. It is very good.

I pray that that God continues to use Kaelyn make me and many others smile.

I know she will.

And thanks to my wife, who was amazing during those first few weeks. She's an incredible mommy. And Kaelyn knows it.

If you're interested in what I was thinking then, here's a go.

Roll'd

Here's an advanced warning for you: I've got a picture further down in this post that you might not want to look at. You have every opportunity to turn away. You've been warned. For the past month I've been waking up twice a week to play basketball at Cincinnati Christian University. Used to play all the time when I worked there. I really suck at basketball but it gives me good exercise. Since I have no other physical activity right now, it's become a highlight of my week.

Last week we were playing and I landed on my left ankle. Hard. It was bad, but I messed up my right one worse playing at the wonderful carpeted court in Mason. That time I was on crutches for a few days, went to physical therapy, and didn't fully heal for two months. Since this one wasn't that bad, I thought it'd be a couple days and then back to normal.

Eight days later, I'm still hobbling. I have to tip-toe up steps to relieve the pain. Had to take a picture to prove that I'm not a wuss. And now you have to see it:

Nice coloration, eh? The bruise almost looks like a Nike swoosh. Oh, and you're welcome.

Honestly, I freak out about getting injured now. I used to roll ankles all the time playing soccer in college but I'd pull on an ankle brace, pop some Advil and not miss a beat. Now, I'm out for extended lengths of time. I don't think my body heals as quickly as it used to.

I'm not feeling old otherwise, but this is rather noticeable. I'm still going to fight off the effects of aging as long as I can [thank you, Oil of Olay], so as soon as this heals I'm going back to the basketball court . . .

. . . where I can suck again.