. . . is beyond me. I guess it's just ambient noise as Kelly and I try to get some work done. But even though I'm not really paying attention to it, I can't stand listening to Chris Berman do play-by-play of anything. So Dan Patrick is leaving ESPN and Berman's still there? We live in an unjust world.
The worst part about Berman doing the home-run derby is that you know he pulls the same crap every year. That's why I offer you:
THE CHRIS BERMAN GUIDE TO DOING PLAY-BY-PLAY OF THE HOME RUN DERBY
Step One: Arrive in city of All-Star Game
Step Two: Go to local convenience store.
Step Three: Purchase map of area.
Step Four: Make a list of neighboring communities and/or landmarks.
Step Five: Wait until someone hits a home-run.
Step Six: Reference list, announcing, "he just hit that ball [Insert location here]"
Acceptable locations this year in San Francisco: San Jose, Alcatraz, Sausalito, Golden Gate Bridge, Oakland, Chinatown.
Step Seven: Wait for football season to begin.