If Your Family Tree Has No Forks . . .

Why no post last night? Begin rant: Growing up, I thought we were pretty redneck. Anyone with a bulldozer in their side yard and scrap metal piles in the back should qualify. It's not that I don't appreciate my heritage but when we bought the house up in Landen I took extra special precautions to make sure that we weren't known as the neighborhood hillbillies. Fortunately I was safe because my next door neighbor Roger cemented that position by leaving an extension ladder up on the side of his house for more than two years.

So upon this recent move down to city, dwelling amongst these refined, educated urbanites, I thought we'd have to be extra hip. I'll admit that there are still times when I take out the garbage while barefoot but beyond that I felt that we blended in well. But once again, I needed not worry about being the local yokel.

A stray cat has been hanging around the condo complex and decided to have her kittens around here. Of course, some genius thought it would be cute to put some milk out for them. So milk quickly turns to canned cat food, which whomever decided to leave out and not throw away the cans. So now the bushes by the parking lot are littered with old cans and cheap Tupperware pieces.

What this guilty party failed to recognize is that when you leave out food, it's not as if word doesn't get around. A couple of days ago I saw another raccoon in our deck/crawlspace area. I was thinking about resetting the trap, but didn't find the time. So last night, about 10pm, I heard all hell breaking loose outside. Of course the raccoon found the kittens and attacked. Because they were under the decking, I couldn't do anything but try to scare the 'coon. Eventually we found one of the kittens half dead out by the bushes. One of our neighbors took it in for the night and is taking it to the vet today [good thing cause there was no way I was doing it]. And I never found the second kitten.

So I spent almost an hour last night trying to chase this raccoon towards the trap that was left behind from our last escapade. This morning I discovered I set it at too much of an angle so the raccoon got the peanut butter I put in there to lure it in and didn't set it off. I'm going to take care of that critter today. I swear, if I get a chance I'll beat it senseless. Real classy, huh?

Memo to that "caring soul" who took care of those cats. See what it got you? Two dead kittens, a littered homestead, and a scavenging critter we need to get rid of. You thought PETA would be proud of your efforts but you're no better than an urban redneck.

Rant concluded.