Five Years Down

Today is the fifth anniversary of my blog. Huzzah for our team. Of course, with the lack of my blogging this year, you could begin to question whether or not this blog is still functional. By far, this past year has been my most anemic when it comes to posting frequency. In determining why this happened, I have recognized that the problem isn't with blogging itself.

I've thoroughly enjoyed this blog. I believe blogging has made me a better writer. Sure anyone can leave a quick Facebook status update, but it takes a little more discipline to work out thoughts in multiple paragraphs. Plus, I appreciate that I can interact with the people throughout my life, a blessing I experience as the result of having this website.

So what has led to my blogging slow-down (other than the fact that we've had a rather hectic 2009)? Honestly, it was the blog itself.

Switching over to Wordpress to manage the House of Carr has been a great move. But what this change-over did was open up numerous design possibilities— and there ain't nothing I enjoy more than dabbling into good design. I find my current blog layout aesthetically pleasing; it's unique and eye-opening. But the look comes with a price: for every post I write, I have to find a corresponding image (preferably a free rights image, so I can sleep at night), and then I have to edit that image to fit within the layout of this blog. This task takes anywhere between ten and fifteen minutes. Add that time to the time that it takes to write a post, and it just wasn't worth it.

Since I started using this layout for my blog I've left many-a-blogable idea along the wayside because it would take too much time. And this has finally become unacceptable; I know I can commit endless time to design, but that's not the point of this blog. So I've decided to make yet another change and scrub this layout for a more streamlined look. I'm ignoring style for substance. So starting with my next post, you'll see a new look and a new functionality. And, hopefully, you'll also witness a resurgence in my posting.

That said, you're going to have to make some changes if you're a regular reader via RSS feed. I'm using this as an opportunity to switch the blog onto it's own server, so you'll have to add a feed specifically to www.houseofcarr.com. You'll still be able to reach my site by that url (as well as the time tested www.beitcarr.com) but you'll lose the feed if you don't update it.

So here's to five years and that sacrificing design will enable me to keep on blogging for another five years. Thanks for reading my stuff.

Women at Work

Last week was a full week for me. I had multiple collaborative projects at both the university and at church which left me exhausted. But in surveying the scene of accomplished tasks, I was served a valuable reminder— one which I don't often express publicly:

I know some hard working women.

I grew up the child of work-o-holics, having parents whose idea of fun was to do chores around the house. My father worked a full-time job while starting a business on the side, and still found time to do continual maintenance on our house and our church building.

All the while, my mother made sure her house was in order and her kids were cared for.* But while it might not sound as impressive, Mom was always moving. Ask anyone who's ever been over to dinner at their house and they'll vouch to this. It follows her upbringing as a farmer's daughter. She worked the tobacco fields, worked her way through college, and hasn't stopped working since.

I guess I just expect all women to be like that. As a result, I probably am not as observant as I should be of those ladies who are constantly giving their all to their jobs, families, and churches. And as we're in the midst of a mancession it seems like these ladies will be working even harder. I don't intend this to sound emasculating, but perhaps I shouldn't be surprised about this.

Living in a low-income neighborhood, I've been the object of virtually every panhandling scheme. But of those who have asked for money, I'd say well over 95% have been men; true, some have done so on behalf of their families, but this is definitely the minority. In our neighborhood, the women who are impoverished (many times single mothers to boot) are out there working. I'm not sure if I care to attribute the root issues of this situation, rather, just focus on the fact that these women are scratching out an existence for the betterment of their family.

It's sad, but it's downright admirable.

Anyway, this past week, I witnessed numerous examples of women going the distance to get the job done. In my department at work, there are three ladies who tirelessly do the work of dozens of people. When we were doing a late night orientation last week, they were constantly pushing to get the job done. Additionally, I've notice how many other women around campus work long hours for not enough pay, something I overlooked in my youth.

And as we remodeled a room in our church building this past week, there were many ladies (as well as men) that came out to get the job done. Even doing volunteer work, this women were going all out, nose-to-the-grindstone, removing carpet (Melissa, you're a beast) and painting without complaining. I was loving it.

And as always there's my wife who, even in her new-found state of unemployment, works harder that I could ever imagine. Yep, I married a girl just like my mother.

I'm blessed to witness Proverbs 31 lived out everywhere I go. I'm thrilled that my daughter is surrounded by these incredible examples of ladies who work like there's no tomorrow.

So dudes, no disrespect, but give it up to those working ladies.

_______

*Later on, my mother returned to the classroom and is still teaching now. Even when she went back to work, she made sure the house was always well-kept. As a result, my brothers and I had a demented view of homemaking, thinking it normal that the wife naturally keeps a house spotless, and thus making it difficult for our wives to keep up with that status. And yet the remain married to us . . .

Walking Away

Never fear— I still walk in the land of the living.

I really think this is the longest that the blog has gone silent since our trip to Israel in 2005. I'm still adjusting to my new schedule and, when choosing between time with the family or time pontificating, I choose not to write. I'm also teaching a new class [new to me] which means there's much more preparation work required. Combined with everything else on my plate, it makes for a "no Steve on the web" cocktail that accompanies the meal perfectly— tastes somewhat bitter going down but it has just the right amount of calories.

Understand that I am not abandoning the blog. I'm just trying to get through the next few weeks. Unfortunately, I have a ton of interesting things I want to write about and not the time to get them out.

I thought I would use this occasion as an opportunity to unleash a major announcement on y'all. It's yet another transition in my life, but one I think we'll embrace.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

I hereby announce my retirement from fantasy sports.

When I started my fantasy career in 2000, I played fantasy baseball and actually won that first league. My team name was Manchester United, an ode to my love of the Red Devils, and an intention insult towards those who bash soccer [I've used that name throughout various seasons]. That fall, I played my first season of fantasy football. Sometime between then and now, I actually participated in a fantasy basketball league, but I never understood the point. I always preferred fantasy baseball, because there was a little more skill attached to it [a point I have made over and over again]. I consistently made the play-offs in most leagues I participated. My worst season was the year we planted Echo. Overall, I won about four baseball titles and one football title. Once the baseball season ends, I'm hanging up my . . . mouse . . . keyboard . . . whatever you hang up.

I can't express just what brought me to this position. Perhaps it's the constant Facebook posts by people talking about their drafts. Maybe it's the scene I witnessed at BW's a couple of weeks ago of people gathered around tables with laptops and video projectors to make their selections. Even worse was a table full of twenty-something women doing their draft. I'm really not a misogynist, but there was something wrong with it. It felt like the ladies were doing the fantasy football thing so they could brag to guys that they're in a fantasy football league.

Ultimately, I've just reached the point where it's no longer fun; I still love the sports, but I'm tired of the fantasy aspect to it. I've engaged in some ridiculous arguments with grown men in the past few years about the ethics of imaginary teams. I enjoyed it for a long time, but it's time to move on.

Don't worry about me going Brett Favre on all you, entering back into the fray next year. I'm going to appreciate keeping up with sports without having to worry about certain stats. I'll no longer face the dilemma of watching my home team while secretly hoping their opponent thrives to help me win that week's game. Plus, Kelly won't have to listen to me complain/boast on Sunday night anymore about how my team performed.

It's been real. It's been fun. I'm done.

END OF RELEASE.

Saving My Teeth

At the beginning of the year we picked up the dental plan for Kelly's job and figured we better get it used up before we lose it at the end of the month. Kaelyn had her first check-up, and Kelly got a visit in as well. Today was the day that I made my pentannual trip to the dentist.

I'm not one of those people that fear the dentist, I'm just utilitarian when it comes to my teeth: when all is well don't complain. I brush twice a day, floss occasionally, so I've avoided major problems. Even my wisdom teeth came in OK, so I haven't needed a dentist. Still, if insurance is paying, then we're paying, so off I went.

When I arrived at the office, I had to fill out the extended questionnaire, laced with a few interesting questions [a couple of them made it in this pic I took with my phone]. My favorite question:

"Do you want to save your teeth?"

Still trying to figure out the context of this question. Is this a long-term goal I should be looking towards? Will they put them in a baggie so I can take them home with me? Should I be concerned about the salvation of my bicuspids? I checked "Yes," but no one asked me about it.

When I was called back to get my teeth cleaned, the hygienist decided to look for gold in my teeth. She was incredibly thorough, and my teeth have probably never been so clean. But hours later, they still hurt— probably more than they've ever hurt— the kind of pain that would cause me to go to the dentist. She kept insisting that I return in six months for another cleaning, but I'm not a masochist, nor will I have that kind of dental plan, so I doubt I will.

The dentist came in, looked me over and said cavity. I made an appointment for an hour later and they drilled me out and filled it in. It was on a wisdom tooth and I told the dentist, "I guess I'll have to try a little more to reach those with my brush." Her response, "Eh, you probably couldn't do anything to prevent it anyway."

Not quite the response I imagined.

As I spent the rest of my afternoon with a numb cheek, slurring some of my words as my inner cheek wall [if that's what it's called] would slide between my teeth, I looked over the receipt. Without insurance, the cost for all the work would've equalled a minor car repair. I'm sure that the older I get, the more money I'll be sinking into these things.

Maybe it'd be cheaper if I didn't save my teeth.

Newbie

Because of my long week [which included a funeral and our Walnut Hills movie night] I haven't yet been able to recount any of my experiences from working at Cincinnati Christian University. Starting a new job is always difficult but this was probably the easiest experience I've had in first week acclamation because of working at the school before.*

First, let me explain my new gig: I'm an admissions coordinator for the College of Adult Learning. Also known as the CALL program [it's an acronym that includes the words "Christian" and "Leadership"], this college was started about six years ago under the umbrella of Cincinnati Christian University to allow non-traditional students [read: adults over the age of 25] to finish their college degrees through an accelerated program. It has somewhat rapidly grown to where it now has over 300 students; this is the program in which I've been adjunct teaching this past year. As the program now has three campuses [on the main campus in Price Hill, at Vineyard Community Church in Tri-County, and in Indianapolis at Indian Creek Christian Church], with another campus on the way [this spring, we'll open a greater-Louisville campus across the river in Jeffersonville, Indiana] it was critical to add recruiting positions to keep up with the growth. While I might have a little to do in Louisville, and since they're adding a recruiter for the Indianapolis area, I'll be centering my focus on the Cincinnati campuses.

As far as my specific tasks, I'll be assisting prospective students throughout the admissions process as well as spreading the word of our program throughout the city. Since the admissions department of the College consisted of just one person until I was added, I'll also be attempting to install some systems that will keep pace with the program's growth. I'll also be looking for opportunities to use my expertise in marketing and technology to enhance the selling of our program.**

In order to work around the schedules of adult students, the college operates classes at night. Thus, my "regular office hours" will be all over the place. This week, I tried to get in early just so I could get a jump on things. What I realized is that, while some things are different, some of them are very much the same. I'd like to think that this transition has provided me with a list of easy things and hard things.

EASY THINGS:

The people I work with are great. I seem to fit very well with our department's staff and am sure that I'll have a stapler in a Jell-O mold by Christmas.

Already teaching in the program has been a plus. I've taught about eight classes this past year in all three of the College's campuses. So I'm familiar with the students, their stories, and what makes the program so important.

The main campus looks much better than it did ten years ago. My first time around, I was selling prospective students on a hole in the ground. And the walls hadn't been painted a new color since they built many of the buildings. While every college campus has archaic buildings, there's certainly a fresh feel to things now.

I still know many of the faculty and staff. I left my previous job at CCU seven years ago. In the meantime, I've been in the city so I've maintained a working knowledge of who was where.

My current job is similar to my previous role here. There are certain procedures that are in place that haven't changed. In short, I know the flow.

The computer database is still the same. While I loathed the database when I worked there before, I understand the power in utilizing it in this job. I think my former co-workers would laugh that I'm going to play the role as advocate for this system.***

HARD THINGS:

Getting enough sleep will be difficult. I went three years without having to be in the office at a certain time. While I've tried to get in bed by midnight, I haven't been very successful yet. And this is in the summer when there's nothing on TV. I already took two naps this week when I've gotten home, so I'm going to have to readjust my body quick if I'm going to make it.

My workspace is incomplete. Since they're going to be doing some wall-building in September to give me an office with a door, I've taken up residence in a conference room. I spent most of the week with papers all over the place. It'll be tough for me to get organized until I get settled into a new place.

I have to use a PC. Seriously, this is the absolute toughest thing about the job. I keep forgetting that when I "Command" click as a keyboard shortcut, the PC looks at me like I'm an idiot. I'm probably going to bring in my laptop from home once a week to keep myself sane.

Bringing in my own Diet Coke. CCU is a Pepsi campus. It is the last remaining demon that ought to be exorcised. Until then, it's a BYOB situation.****

Still. It was a great first week. It's [almost] like I never left. I'd predict my blogging pace will pick up a little as I continue to get settled. Maybe I'll find some interesting things to say as well.

_______________

*By my count, I've now held seven different jobs in my life. I'm not sure if that's a lot or not, but I'm thinking I've set myself up so that I could make it to retirement without crossing the double-digit threshold.

**True, I don't hold any marketing or technology degrees, but I have started a church which has provided me a depth of experience in these tasks.

***Ten years ago, when I was prone to having more fun, I actually entered Tupac Shakur into the database. Sadly, as I scanned the system for him this week, his name had been purged. That's twice I've lost him from my life now.

****Bring Your Own Beverage, obviously. I read in the employee handbook something about not being inebriated on the job that leads me to believe alcohol is prohibited.

Clocking In

The blog has gone very silent during the last couple of weeks. Tomorrow morning I start my new job at my old place of employment. I had two weeks between accepting this job and officially starting, so I've been processing through my own personal "bucket list" which included:

• Shampooing all of our carpets.
• Washing, waxing, and detailing our cars.
• Preaching at two different churches, not including Echo.
• Doing some leadership training.
• Wrapping up a final exam and a twenty-five page final paper.
• Grilling out at our church picnic.
• Meeting with four different people about life and career decisions.
• Spending some time with the dudes at our church and talking Jesus.
• Replacing the large blinds in the windows that face our street.
• Running an equipment check for our community movie night.
• Attending a wedding reception.
• Helping three different sets of friends move.
• Spending two days exclusively with my daughter.
• Celebrating our anniversary [didn't even have time for the obligatory, "I love my wife" post].

Yeah, I was kinda busy. And I'm kinda tired now. Will probably be asleep by 10:30 tonight.

Someone at church tonight asked me if I was nervous about starting tomorrow, and I'm not at all; I'm more energized by it than anything else. But since Kelly won't officially wrap up her job until the end of the month, we'll be pressing to make it through the next four weeks. The temporary awkwardness surrounding this transition pales in comparison to the benefits of everything involved with it.

It will be awesome.

But gimme a chance to look in the rearview mirror. As I look back at where we've been during the past four years, I see the fingerprints of God all over it.

When we first moved to Walnut Hills, we didn't know how we were going to make ends meet. I was working at Panera, making very little money and feeling exhausted. When I went "full-time" with Echo in January 2006 we still weren't sure how we would make ends meet, and within weeks, we were in the hospital awaiting Kaelyn's birth much earlier than it should have been. The flexibility of my ministry allowed me the opportunity to spend all my time at the hospital with Kelly, helping us keep each other sane. Then, after Kaelyn was born, I got hepatitis, basically shutting me down for weeks. All in all, it was about two months where I was out of commission. What other job could I have held where I could've been there for my family [and still HAVE a job]? And when we finally settled, Kelly was able to work out of the house and it allowed our family to be together all the time. I cannot imagine a bigger blessing than these past few years for our family.

My family is the main thing. Ask anyone who's started a church and they'll tell you that their family time suffers. Mine actually increased. So even as things are changing, that foundation is there and I know for whom I am working. I love my girls, and this is only going to get better.

Additionally, our church has benefited in having me fully devoted to Echo during the past three-and-a-half years. We haven't experienced huge growth, but we have definitely gained momentum. If I had to go bi-vocational the past few years, I'm not sure we're able to keep this thing going. Again, there is now a solid foundation underfoot, people are emerging as leaders, and we're finding our niche in this community.

So while I never could've imagined how things would've turned out, I couldn't have scripted it any better. Tomorrow we turn another page, but I really like how the story has gone so far so I'm not sweating it.

Hi-ho, Hi-ho . . .

Changes

In less than three months we will mark the fourth anniversary of Echo Church. This is exciting as new churches that survive through the fourth year tend to have emerged from the "newness" stage, tending to survive for the long haul. When we first moved to Walnut Hills in September 2005, we weren't sure of this. In fact, we [intentionally] stacked the deck against ourselves. Among other things:

1. We didn't give ourselves a proper incubation time. Within one month of moving here, we started having services. Most church planters [insider term for someone who starts a church] are on-site for well over a year before beginning their church.

2. We didn't raise any support for the endeavor. Yes, some family and friends contributed to give us our start-up funding, but it was totally unsolicited. Our belief was that we would do whatever it took to get this church started without fighting for funding with other works that desperately need missions funding in order to survive.

3. We meet on Sunday nights. This is still perhaps something that keeps our attendance lower than what it could be. I am aware of a few people who have loved Echo but no longer attend because it cannot fulfill their desire to worship on Sunday morning.

But all of these things were done deliberately so that we could be the best stewards possible. As a result of these decisions, we kept our overhead low and were faithful with our funds. If the people at our church stopped giving today [I would cry], we have enough in savings that we could function for an additional year.

As the minister, I am the biggest financial liability the church has. In order to offset this, I've fought to keep my income low and have hustled to make up the deficit. I've probably spent half the Sunday mornings in the past few years preaching at other churches to make some extra money. I've performed more weddings than I'd like to because it's an easy gig.* I've also been teaching in order to bring in some more funds. And when we started the church, I worked at Panera to make ends meet. The only way we made it through is because Kelly maintained her job with Standard Publishing. This brought us enough income to make ends meet and provided us with the all-important health insurance we needed.

The importance of having health insurance was demonstrated when Kaelyn was born prematurely. At the end of that experience, our medical bills totalled almost $200,000. Because of insurance, we payed only a small fraction of this figure. If we had not been insured, we would've been forced to declare bankruptcy and Echo would've probably ceased to exist.**

Over the past couple of years, the church has been able to pay me a little more, but Kelly has still had to maintain her job; since Kaelyn's birth, she's been able to work at home, but she's still had to work. Even though it has been an immense blessing— including the fact that we worked together and were able to have professional flexibility, it was not the arrangement I desired for her. I've desperately wanted Kelly's only job to be "Mommy." I sought to make this happen, having occasionally interviewed for jobs during the past couple of years but nothing emerged. As a result, we just went on with life.

So last Monday I got a potential job offer; basically, the position was mine for the taking. It caught us off-guard, because I hadn't been looking. But the more we thought about things, the more we decided that it was the right move at just the right time. After some back and forth, everything is finally settled. Starting in August, I will once again be employed by the Cincinnati Christian University working in their College of Adult Learning [where I have been an adjunct professor] recruiting potential students. It's a similar job to what I was doing the last time at CCU almost ten years ago.

It has been interesting to digest this move in such a short amount of time. Within three days we went from totally contentment to me taking a job while Kelly quits hers. Still, we see the many blessings that will accompany this change. Among others:

I can continue to develop Echo. I would never do anything that would detract from our ultimate mission in the city: to build a church that will be a blessing to our community. And I truly think that the church is in better shape than it's ever been. I'll be working for an organization that values ministry, so if there's some issue that demands my pastoral attention, I'll be granted some leeway. Campus is only eight minutes away from our house, so I won't be too far away, nor will I have to fight the commute. And it's close enough so I can occasionally catch the girls for lunch.

I'll be forced to play to my ministerial strengths. Since I was the only staff member at the church, there were many aspects of my job that were secretarial in nature. Additionally, if there was something that needed to be done, I rushed to do it because I felt obligated. This robbed others of the opportunity to contribute. I'm going to have to let some things go in order for the church to become what it needs to be— and I know people will step up. Kelly will take over those day-to-day administrative tasks for the church [our new church secretary?] and I'll focus on preaching, vision, and leading.

We can reclaim some semblance of normalcy in our family hours. Since Kelly had to assign hours that she worked to specific job tasks, there was little flexibility in time. Often, she/we had to work while Kaelyn slept, which made for late hours— working well past midnight. Now, we'll be able to get to bed earlier. We won't miss Conan, Letterman, or Kimmel [and if we do, we have DVR].

I'll be doing something I'm good at for something I believe in. I love my alma mater. It's changed a lot since I worked there last [this program didn't even exist when I was there], but it's all for the better. Some of my best friends work on staff at CCU so, in effect, I'm coming home.

And, finally, Kelly can devote herself fully to Kaelyn. This will make me incredibly happy.

I cannot stress how important Kelly has been to Echo; without her, the church doesn't exist. I'm so proud of her. She's sacrificed as much [if not more] as I have in this endeavor and it's time for her to take a breather. No doubt, the transition will take a little getting used to, but it will be great for our family, my new employer, and for our church.

In this instance, change is very good.

____________

*It's not the point of this post, but I know some ministers who are incredibly selective about whom they will marry. I, on the other hand, feel as if I am a better equipped justice of the peace. If I do a couple's wedding, they are forced to engage with their spirituality [or lack thereof]. So while I do get paid for the task, I figure that it's more benefical that I do the ceremony than some public official who has no spiritual dimension in their lives.

**It is absolutely shocking how cheap some churches are. I understand that there are pastors who take advantage of their position and make much more money than they ought. But I know more ministers who live near the poverty line than I'd ever like to admit. I have ministerial friends working two jobs, whose children are on medicaid, and the churches have money in the bank. No, ministers shouldn't make a fortune, but if a church thinks it deserves a full-time minister, it should pay enough so that their families don't have to suffer.

7 July

Wha . . . ? Back to back days of posting? What is this, 2005?

Anyway, I had a few more things that I felt like sharing today.

1. Sunday night I preached about people who tend to over-spiritualize their decisions, constantly stating things like "God opened this door for me." I suggested that we should be incredibly careful of trying to force God's hand, giving His endorsements to our decision. Anyway, I came across this cartoon that doesn't exactly speak to my point, but it's hilarious nonetheless.

2. Our city is facing a huge budget crisis. Just this past week two people were killed in a drug deal gone bad in my neighborhood. I'm thinking that honoring MJ is the last thing that our city council needs to do right now.

3. Kaelyn is taking swimming lessons right now. No, she's not really learning to swim, but she's inherited her mother's love of the pool and we're making good use of the benefit of having a community one nearby. Kaelyn, however, is afraid of the boy lifeguards, crying whenever they teach. While this is disappointing, I'd say it'll bode well that she's not yet enamored with boys.

4. Another huge problem in our community, as is all over our country, is absentee fatherism. It was definitely tragic that former NFL quarterback Steve McNair was killed this past week, but sports writer Jason Whitlock says the thing that most of us our afraid to say: the true victims were McNair's sons.

5. Reciprocating the blog love, my friend Dan and I are working on developing a new Architreks tour for Walnut Hills. Who am I kidding? He's developing it, doing all the deep research, and I'm just a sidekick. Still, he's done a great job lately advocating my 'hood, and you should check out some of his latest posts.

6. The Reds lost 22-1 last night. Yes, this is depressing, but this is also baseball not the BCS; there are no weighted victories. The team went out there tonight, broke a tie in the 8th inning, and picked up the 4-3 win. At the end of the year, losing a game by 21 runs is no different than losing by 1.

7. So I've been reading this blog for a few months now. This guy is doing a rehab of an old house off Harrison Avenue on the westside of town. He makes some incredibly persuasive points about Cincinnati's lack of vision concerning abandoned houses; they usually bulldoze them, leaving empty lots. It is pretty ridiculous considering . . .

8. . . . this article and these pictures about the abandoning of the suburban landscape. No, this isn't the end of the 'burbs, but it will be amazing to see what our country's definition of housing is in another ten years.

9. It's been too long since I've linked to this. Trust me, turn down your volume if you're at work.

10. Tomorrow we'll hit the once a century moment where the clock/calendar will hit 12:34:56 on 07/08/09. Go ahead and live that second up.

6 July

Now I'm back.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks, jumping from my grandmother's funeral to my friend Larry's wedding. Larry and Kristen got married in Branson, Missouri. Aaron and I rented a car, left at 7am Friday morning and drove the 9.5 hours to get there. Within a couple of hours of arriving, we had the rehearsal. Not much time to check out the Branson scene because the wedding was the next afternoon. Then, after the reception, we got back in our car and drove through the night (hit an opossum and almost hit an unknown werewolf creature) making it home by 7am Sunday morning— a blur of 48 hours.

Anyway, I'm experiencing a travel hangover but thought I would run down some items of interest.

1. Fireworks are interesting. Since we drove through the night on July 4th we witnessed firsthand many redneck usages of pyrotechnics, including someone who thought it would be a good idea to set them off next a gas station. FYI, the urban celebration of the holiday lasts much longer; I guarantee I'll hear fireworks throughout the week.

2. Not only did I perform Larry and Kristen's wedding ceremony but I went Adam Sandler/Wedding Singer at the reception. Of course, Bon Jovi supplied the soundtrack.

3. The final trip related note: Missouri's interstate system sucks.

4. So, yeah, Michael Jackson died. In the past I probably would've devoted an entire post to the topic, but I just didn't feel like it. It's truly sad that it took death to transform him from societal pariah back to musical legend. It's also sad that he's worth more dead than alive. Now begins the parade of those who will capitalize on his death, including legions of people who will claim to have always have been fans.

6. We have new neighbors on each side of us. After almost four years of living here we are finally feeling completely settled but all the people we've met keep transitioning out. Such is city life.

7. When will people learn never to mention the accomplishments of Hitler? It is never helpful, so don't be like this guy and avoid mentioning it at all costs. No, not every one of Hitler's acts were evil, but after attempting to systematically eliminate and entire race of people all his other exploits, even if positive, are overshadowed. I'm sure this isn't the first time "big misunderstanding" has been used to defend positive Hitler comments [a little web search yielded this, and this and this] nor will it be the last.

8. Crossroads Church just started a sermon series entitled, "We Love Cincinnati." If you're a local, I hope you can agree. The messages are/will be available online. It also makes me feel good about Echo Church, because I know are folks have been living this out as well. In case you're wondering, our new teaching series is from the Old Testament books of Jonah and Nahum. Both books deal with the Assyrians, whose army is considered one of the most diabolical in human history. I'm calling it, "An Assyrian Summer." Here's our introduction slide, definitely worth a look.

9. Kaelyn's getting older. This is no secret, but she just continues to show it. Today she was constantly singing various songs she's learned while better articulating the words. No preschool next year, as she's still under my tutelage.

10. Not sure if you've heard of The Holy Land Experience, a theme park in Orlando dedicated to the Christian Biblical story. Apparently, it's actually registered as a church giving it a huge tax break. As a result, the park is supposed to allow free admission one day per year. The catch: the owners are secretive about letting the public know this date. Sneaky, sneaky, people. I actually think it's unethical for them to operate as a church. If you're going to be in a for-profit business as a Christian, you shouldn't expect the government to give you competitive advantages because of your faith.

11. Firefox Verson 3.5 is now open. There are a lot of good features, and one you should be careful of using. There's a privacy mode that, when enabled, keeps all your browsing secret. So if you're looking at sites you don't want other people to see [do I need to spell this out: P-0-R-N] no one else will need to know. While there could be other useful reasons for using this feature [ex: checking email on someone else's computer] it's still a good rule of thumb is never to mess with your history settings. Keep your integrity in tact and steer clear from private browsing. Nothing is ever truly secret, anyway.

12. Still knocking out my summer to-do list. Almost finished the first website redesign, so I thought I'd let you take a look. This will be the official Walnut Hills website. It's nothing special and still under construction, but feel free to leave me some feedback: www.walnuthills.us.

About Grandma

My Grandmother died last Friday.

It's been a bizarre week dealing with this reality. It was not entirely unexpected; she had congestive heart failure and has been deteriorating throughout the past year. She had also been struggling with dementia the past few years, not knowing exactly who I was for almost a year now. I saw her a few Wednesdays ago and when I next saw her, one week later, she had lost almost twenty pounds. I knew as I left her then, kissing her on the forehead, that this would be the last time I saw her. She passed away in her sleep early Friday morning.

These times are difficult for anyone but I then transition into "pastor mode." I knew I would be conducting the funeral, so I begin to assess what needs to be said. This is always a challenge, as it becomes my duty not only to summarize the life of a person who means much to me, but to do her memory justice to the rest of my family as well. This is why it's difficult to perform the funeral of a family member— you have to create some space to ensure that you can do your job. Fortunately, the memorial ceremony is Sunday, almost eight days after her passing, which has given me time to get this accomplished.

I suppose this is why I've been in a funk this week (duh). While I was extremely productive last week, I got very little accomplished since Friday. In addition to regular tasks, I've been putting together the slide presentation of my grandmother's life, as well as trying to craft the right words for the ceremony. Not arduous work, obviously, but my mind is working overtime. I'm so immersed in the situation that I don't deal with it.

My grandmother lived in the same house as us most of my childhood. She remarried when I was ten and it was two years later that my mom's parents moved in with us. So throughout the formative years of my life I always had grandparents around. I never knew how much of a blessing this was. They ate with us daily, took us places, and were practically second parents to us. Sure, it made the relationship a little more complicated than your average grandparent/grandchild relationship (we were never spoiled by our grandparents because they always saw us) but it is an experience I would never give back.

And, finally, I'm facing the fact that all of my grandparents are now gone. While many reading this might already have this situation (with some friends my age already having lost their parents) this is new to me. My mind wonders towards future losses and what the future holds.

All in all, it's a fascinating intersection of life, death, my psyche, and my vocation. I'm mourning, but I also need to lead people out of mourning to celebration of the life that was lived.

And the final blessing her is that my grandmother made the most of her existence, making my job much easier. So while she helped me throughout my life, she's still helping me when she's gone.

Open Letter to a Car Thief

Good morning!

I hope you slept well last night, but I'm sure you lost a little sleep when you were up at 2am trying to break into my car. I should've let you know earlier that my driver's side door lock is broken. So even though it's actually open, enabling you to access my Explorer by just opening the door, the alarm is actually on. That's why while you thought you were being sneaky, my rather obnoxious horn started blaring at you. Too bad you weren't actually able to take anything in the excitement. You did succeed at getting me out of bed, but I was pretty ticked so I wouldn't have been to congenial in my introduction if we had met.

Actually, the main reason for my correspondence it so ask: what were you trying to take? A couple of years ago I learned the hard way by leaving some church equipment in the back of the Explorer where someone performed a smash and grab. Through that experience, I paid my "dumb tax" and learned that you never leave anything of value in your car overnight— ever.

Since you might be thoroughly disappointed this morning, thinking of what you might have taken from my car, I've decided to give you an itemized list of what was up for grabs. For your convenience, I've added the approximate street value to the items so you can see your potential losses.

Child's Car Seat
Condition: New.
Notes: By far, the most valuable thing you could've scored
Approximate Street Value: $10.00

Baby Stroller
Condition: Slightly Used.
Notes: Just too bulky for you to carry away. You want take this.
Approximate Street Value: $8.00

Soccer Cleats
Condition: Used.
Notes: They're just a junk Nike pair I purchased at Play-It-Again Sports I leave in my car just in case.
Approximate Street Value: $3.00

7-Iron
Condition: Used
Notes: Just in case I want to hit a couple practice balls.
Approximate Street Value: $4.00

Stuffed Ducky
Condition: Slightly Used
Notes: My daughters' companion for our road trips.
Approximate Street Value: $1.00

Car Air Filter
Condition: New
Notes: Only fits 1996-2001 Ford Trucks.
Approximate Street Value: $4.00

Restaurant Napkins
Condition: New.
Notes: In the glove compartment in case there's a mess.
Approximate Street Value: $0.00

Beyond my stereo** there's honestly nothing left in there worth taking. I guess you could've stolen the vehicle itself, but that makes no sense; it is, by far, the least desirable car in our parking lot. So the whole take would've netted you $30.00. Is $30 worth the possibility of getting caught and imprisoned (not that we have any room in our jails to keep you)? When I ask that, I assume that this wasn't your first attempt at theft and that they would find other stuff on you as well.

And if it was, by chance, your first attempt at breaking into cars, I'd say you're off to a bad start; you're clearly no good at this. Might I suggest some other method of fleecing the general public, such as TV weatherman?

In closing, thanks for nothing. Now I'll be tired all day and both of us leave this experience empty-handed.

Sincerely,
Steve Carr

___________________
*If, by some chance, it was you who broke into my car a couple years back, then I am grateful that you didn't break any windows this time. But, seriously, aren't there other cars that are more likely to have better stuff in them?

**It's my understanding that not many thieves try to steal factory installed ones. I'm not sure the 1999 Ford Explorer stereo has any street value, hence, it was not included on the list.

A Word to the Wise

Just a thought . . .

This morning I read an article written by a PhD discussing the psychological nuances surrounding how children learn; his column included how kids should properly be reared through various childhood situations. As I read the article I laughed to myself thinking that the person's analysis was off-base and somewhat subjective. Still, the author wrote as if he/she were an expert so I read on until the end.

It was at the conclusion of the article that I discovered the person's academic credentials: their doctorate was in theology. I'm not saying a theology degree is worthless [cough, cough] but it is somewhat disingenuous to speak as if you're an authority on a topic when you're merely a hack.*

This made me think about the voices to which we listen. Apparently this PhD has quite a following— there are people who lap up his/her opinions like a thirsty dog in the middle of summer— even though he/she is frequently misguided. This reading experience leads me to offer two observations for you.

1. Not everyone is an expert on everything Just because someone SPEAKS authoritatively doesn't mean that they ARE an authority. When you read a column or listen to a personality, there's a good chance that they have absolutely no significant knowledge about what they're talking about. Sure, there are people who know a little about a lot [Steve raises his hand], but I'd rather hear from those who know a lot about a little. As someone whose expertise is rather small, I try to know the limitations on my experience and knowledge. I'll offer up my opinion freely, but I watch myself so that I don't claim that they're anything more than opinions.

By the way, this is why you should beware of only reading books by certain authors or listening to certain speakers. A little diversity in your diet will do you well.

Still, there is another point that we need to grasp:

2. Not no one isn't an expert on nothing I'm sure my more grammatically-minded readers just stopped reading this post but for those left behind, stick with me. My point is that there is knowledge in our world that can be obtained. There are people out there who have devoted lifetimes studying certain subjects. Sure, there is always a subjective element to each person's epistemology [that's not a cuss word], but you cannot dismiss it altogether. I know some highly skeptical people who refuse to listen to anyone other than themselves because they're deconstructionist. I don't want to go all philosophical/X-Files here, but the truth IS out there. We should be on the lookout for wisdom wherever it might be.

Of course, I guess you could dismiss the whole post as coming from someone who has no idea what he's talking about.

Do as you must.

__________

*I should say, in case you're wondering, that the PhD was not expounding the biblical method of child rearing but was spouting off pop psychology, so he/she was way outside of his/her expertise.

11 June

A collection of links, personal tales, and such:

• Attention Facebookers and Twits [or whatever they call those who use Twitter]. This article is probably talking about you.
• A lady who was late to the airport and missed being on board the doomed Air France from Brazil was killed the next week in a car accident. <insert your own observation as neccessary>
• I am all over Manchester Orchestra right now, and not because the band name sounds like Manchester United. Speaking of international football, Real Madrid is spending like they won the Powerball.
• According to a blog I frequent, the way I preach at Echo would not be acceptable in a Catholic Mass. To be fair, I'm sure the whole "me not being Catholic" wouldn't be acceptible there either. I understand the objection that you don't want to make worship service into a classroom but, to many people, learning more about God IS an act of worship. And it's hard for me to imagine the downside to getting people to know more about the Bible.
• Kelly's iBook decided to die this week. Logic board failure. I was stoked because, even though it was a brick, I was get it to boot up by shoving some quarters under the keyboard. I . . . AM . . . McGRUBER!
• I'm focused this summer on fixing up our condo. Since the housing bubble has burst, we've decided that we'll be in our place for longer than we originally imagined. So since we're here, we have to fix up the cheap paint job on our joint. We'll just slap up the same color, but use a better brand of paint. We're just getting started and Kaelyn already likes the concept of spackling.
• Additionally, we're finally committed to filling the empty wall space. I designed some art pieces that we were able to print out online onto canvases. I made three pieces to hang on our tall wall between our two lower floors. I took some pictures of local landmarks and made them look "artsy." They turned out really well and I finally hung them this afternoon using a ladder on our kitchen table. Stop by if you want to see them sometime, or you can check them out here.
• In a related note, the fact that $75,000 was spent to develop a new logo for our city is ridiculous. Fortunately tax-payer money was not spent on the project, but this is still absurd. If they were smart, they would've made it a contest and given a $1,000 prize to the winner. In today's world, you shouldn't have to pay that much for something so lack-luster.
• And speaking of design, my friend and tech advisor Brian got all my new web domains set up so now I can start knocking out some of my website designing.
• The advantages to having a DVR and cable stations you rarely watch? MTV2 is showing episodes of The State at 2am.
• Best commercial song right now: the group in a cab singing Biz Markie. "Oh baby you . . . " [I had no idea it was Heineken commercial. Again, when I pay no attention to your product placement, how effective is it?]
• I have a lot of pots on the fire right now. It's very . . . interesting.

More later.

Still Content

When I was thinking about a title for this post, I figured "Contentment" would be a good summary. Then I realized that I just wrote a blog post with that title back in March.

I guess I've been thinking a lot about contentment this year.

Just this past Sunday I concluded my sermon from Paul's letter to the Philippians where he offers,

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Paul unveils this secret in the next verse:

I can do everything through [God] who gives me strength.

They say that you can always tell what a minister is struggling with by what he preaches, so you might assume that I'm haven't a hard time with contentment right now. But that's not the case.

Actually, I'm more content than I've ever been. But even when you're content, you must constantly remind yourself of it. Otherwise, you may begin to replace the ultimate source of contentment [read: God] with other things. And almost always, the replacement is detrimental to our ultimate contentment.

Yesterday I read about another high-profile minister who had an affair. This guy had a national audience who was held captive by his every word; he was seen as the measure of success. And yet this wasn't enough to make him content— he had to have more. Unfortunately, the result of his drive cost him his job, perhaps will cause Christians to lose faith in the church, and will be a scar on his family life the rest of his life.

I'm not saying this to kick a guy when he's down, as he's obviously not the only person this has happened to. Examine any recent major scandal [Berlusconi, Madoff, steroids] and you discover that it's usually the result of someone trying to manufacture contentment. It would be foolish for us not to heed these examples as a warning in our own lives.

Ask yourself what you're chasing in this world and why. It might seem antithetical to the American dream, but maybe you need to find a pace where you can just be happy with what you've got.

By the way, it's things like this that make it easier for me to maintain my level of contentment.

All Talk

I have these ideas, see. Lots of ideas.

But they don't always come to fruition. For instance, about three years ago I had this idea about a Tetris book. Unfortunately, they owners of the franchise didn't see the vision. But that don't stop me [grammatical mistake intended] as I'll keep the ideas a comin'.

My problem is that I sometimes view these ideas as long-term projects and, every once in awhile, someone else beats me to the punch.

Case in point: I read today about a new documentary entitled Google Me. The creator Googled himself, making a list of people who share his name so he could interview them; it supposed to be a journey of discovery. Nice idea.

I swear, I had it first.

But since I'm not a film-maker, my idea revolved around a book with the same premise. I had a bookmark folder in my web browser with a collection of other Steve Carr's around the globe [the soccer player, the movie producer, and the atheist are a few examples] for awhile. Occasionally, when I was board, I'd search deeper in my Google searches so I could identify better candidates to interview.

You might counter that it was my apathy that kept it from actually happening. I offer that it's just not the kind of book someone would pay me to do without a successful track record. And since I haven't had a lot of down time, it was one of those shelved ideas. I guess I can de-shelve this one.

So there's another idea that I missed out on. But the well's not dry, as I've got plenty of other ideas. Feel free to offer up those ideas you had that would've made you rich.

I won't be losing sleep about it.

X'd Off My List

I graduated from Xavier today.

Didn't go to the commencement ceremony, though. I've been there and done that and had no desire to do that again. The Xavier registrar called me yesterday afternoon to tell me I could walk and I said I wasn't. She sounded disappointed. I hope she gets over it.

Yesterday afternoon I had my thesis defense. It went very well. The professor in whose class I received my worst grade was one of the readers. The first words out of her mouth were that mine was the most compelling paper she's read since she's been at Xavier. That made me feel good [and vindicated?]. All the readers suggest that it should be eventually published and perhaps the topic of a dissertation. Again, I felt very good. Sometime this summer, I'll post the summary of what I wrote about on the blog.

Overall, my experience at Xavier has been quite positive. One of the main reasons I went to school there was to be challenged— both academically and philosophically. I've emerged from the other side emboldened, better prepared to do the work set before me. I interacted with a diverse collection of views and individuals and appreciate what it's meant to me.

Thanks to all for the encouragement you've given me throughout this experience. And a shout-out to my brother-in-law Josh who received his Masters degree this weekend as well.

So now, a little breather, then back for more this summer. As I said earlier, I'm returning to Cincinnati Bible Seminary to begin work on yet another Masters Degree [I figure third time's a charm]; this time, I'll be exploring Church History. Never thought I'd be going this far in academics, but I feel like I'm hitting my stride. And I love being an adjunct professor, so the more education, the better opportunities I'll have to keep teaching. In the immortal words of Billy Madison, "Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight"

Turn The Page

My parent's house sits on quite a bit of wooded land; connected with all the neighbors' properties, it made a virtual wilderness. With all those trees, wandering through the woods was always a difficult trek. But then you'd come to an open field and you were relieved because you knew you could walk across with ease.

Lately, I feel like I've been wandering through the deep woods but there's finally a clearing ahead. And there's a smile on my face.

Starting in the summer of 2007 I've been pushing through academic endeavors; since then, I've either been taking classes or teaching classes non-stop. I had my last class at Xavier last night and will finish my degree with a thesis defense next week. And I'm not teaching any classes this summer so I'll actually have a legitimate summer break. I'm very much looking forward to the next few months. I think I might actually read a few books that I feel like reading and there are some church projects and house projects that I'm going to tackle.

Something else I've realized (and you might have too) is that my blogging has become much more infrequent over the last 10 months or so. Since I've been doing a ton of writing for teaching and homework and sermons, I've felt a bit empty when it comes to writing here. And that's unfortunate because some of you who I hardly see anymore are able to stay better connected with our lives if I'm constantly posting. And Facebook just don't get it done.

Even though school's out for summer, I'm actually going to pick up the blogging again. Just posting this past week about my marathon prep reminded me that it's not as difficult as I imagine it might be.

So if you don't use an RSS reader and you've not been checking in with the House of Carr, I'll try to give you a reason to come around the neighborhood more regularly.

</breathe>

20 April

Still a bit hectic in my life, so all you get is the update.

I was at Xavier tonight. Only two classes left. Unfortunately, I still have a lot to get done. Met with my thesis advisor earlier this afternoon to talk about my paper. While he was extremely helpful, I have quite a bit of writing left. And I still have some course work to accomplish as well. So that, plus the marathon in twelve days, plus everything else, and I have an exciting two weeks in front of me. Rock.

I promise the blog will pick up next week as I'm going to detail some of my marathon thoughts. Until then, here's some things with which you can engage:

• I've been telling you the Twitter will not last. And last week, it was confirmed as Oprah helped it to officially jump the shark. But the must-read article is this one by my cousin (not really) is about the narcissistic attitude Twitter creates.
• Even though I've only taken adult education classes there, I'd be kinda sad if Hebrew Union College closed.
• I love that some people payed scalpers thousands of dollars to make it into the gate for the first game at Yankee Stadium only to realize that their $5-face-value-tickets didn't even let them see the entire field.
• And finally, I need your opinion on this one. Since we started Echo, my collection of dress clothes has significantly declined. I can preach in a t-shirt and jeans and no one cares. This article, however, has me thinking of buying some more khakis. What do you think: should we decrease our denim dependence?

Fin.

14 April

Yes, Steve remembers that he occasionally blogs.

The occasions, however, have been few and far between.

After conquering an especially busy time in my life, I'm on the cusp of completing another. So a few rambling factoids/opinions in case you're interested.

1. I'll be graduating from Xavier in a little over four weeks. I have to finish the coursework from my last class and defend my thesis. In a future post, I'll attempt to summarize that entire academic experience. I've decided not to participate in graduation as I've done that before. Instead, I'll be able to celebrate with my brother-in-law Josh who's getting his Masters.

2. Speaking of Xavier, I think they did well to hire Chris Mack as coach. He's a Xavier guy, so he'll be more likely to stay longer. Just like I still hold that Mick Cronin was a good UC hire, Mack will be good for X. Hopefully at next year's Crosstown Shootout they'll go Huggins/Gillen on each other.

3. The culmination of marathon training will happen in a couple of days: I'll have my last, long training run— 20 miles. Looks like the weather will cooperate, so that's cool.

4. We're going on a sans-Kaelyn vacation after marathon/graduation. Since we didn't get away last summer for our 10th anniversary, this will hopefully fill the void.

5. Easter at Echo is always a little downplayed. Few people think "Easter Sunday NIGHT" so our attendance (as it has been for the previous three years) was a little low. We still, however, had a great time. A great group of our folks who made it out for the gathering. Preaching on Easter is pretty awesome. And if anyone's interested, we're doing the pot-luck deal after church this week. We love to eat.

6. In other Echo news, Emily is finally coming home from London this Saturday. She was there at the very beginning of our church and (I hope I'm not going to far to assume this) she's now back with us. She already has a project to keep her ultra-busy back in the States: Stop Traffick Fashion.

7. I'm tiring of Facebook. I've almost reached 600 friends, but I'm still lonely. Actually, I'm just thoroughly annoyed at it. Sure, I can now "hide" news about friends in whom I'm not as interested, but they constant surveys in my feed is driving me crazy. I'm hiding those like an addiction and yet people continue to find more. Here's my plea to you: STOP ANSWERING THOSE STUPID SURVEYS (yes, the need for all caps is justified here). I have no interest in which muppet most becomes you, or what kind of rock you most resemble. I'll tolerate what you're fixing for dinner or what funny thing your kid said with relative ease, but keep your surveys to yourself.

8. Speaking of Facebook, I also can longer check the site while shows that I'm DVR'ing are on. There is no Facebook "spolier alert." Some of you might doubt my allegiance to certain programs as I don't watch them live, but I save a significant amount of viewing time by waiting to watch them later. In these difficult economic times, I'm hardpressed to encourage you to increase your spending but, if you do, upgrade to a DVR.

9. I'm no prophet, but I predict increased sexual frustration among Chinese males.

10. Baseball's back, and I'm glad. The Reds are going to be OK, as long as Fox Sports stays awake at the control panel. Misnomer if there ever was one: The Best D*mn Sports Show Period.

11. Here's a funny one: I've been accepted into grad school . . . again. I've decided to continue in my educational exploits at the place where it all started: Cincinnati Christian University. I'm going to take some Seminary classes starting in a few weeks and will be enrolled in a couple this fall. There are some who think I'm trying to stay in school the rest of my life. I promise, that is not my intention.

12. I will sleep well tonight as my taxes are finished. Money back from the Feds and the State, but we owed the city as we haven't paid taxes since moving here.

13. My TV updates for you:

• I'm loving 24 this season. Tony goes from bad to good to bad. It's a soap opera . . . with guns.
• The Office has its swagger back. I'm feeling it. Parks and Recreation, not so much. I'm afraid it needs to come on strong in order to survive.
• Speaking of survival, how long can Jimmy Fallon last? I loved Jimmy on SNL, but late night talk is not his gift. I actually feel awkward watching it.
• The producers at American Idol are screwing up the show. They don't have enough time in an hour to let the people sing full songs and hear from all the judges? The only judge I want to hear from is Simon, and his voice is much more influential in voting than producers realize. So, in essence, not having Simon speak about certain performers is actually influencing votes. And obviously, the fourth judge was a huge mistake. Kris sings the Swell Season, and is now my dude.
• I love watching the Masters every spring. It was great TV this year . . . until the end. It was like no one wanted the green jacket. I felt bad for Kenny Perry. Really wanted to see him pull that off.
• This is the first year that I have no horse in The Amazing Race. I find all the remaining teams to be somewhat unlikeable. I'll still watch, though.

All for now.

Training Update

Tomorrow is exactly one month from the marathon. Thought I'd take a few moments to update my progress.

So far, I've run 189 miles this year. It's pretty ridiculous for me to think about that. It's amazing that in order to run 26 miles just one time, you have to run a few hundred before hand. I've been doing between three and four runs a week, including a longer run at the end of the week. All was going well until I got a virus a couple of weeks ago. I was in bed four-days straight, and did not get back into running-shape for 10 days. In that time, I missed five of my running sessions and it definitely has set me back a bit.

I'm beginning to doubt that I'll be able to run this thing in my goal of under four-hours. While most of my training runs have yielded under-nine-minute miles [the time necessary to best the four-hour mark], today didn't go so well. I did a 16-mile run, the longest since my illness, and it was very average. I still have a nagging cough, and my body isn't as strong as it was a couple of weeks ago, so I was doing 10-minute miles. There's no shame in that, but it leaves me somewhat disappointed.

On a side note, I don't think I've really lost much weight during this training. I think I'm a little more toned than I used to be, but not that much. No, all this cardio has yet to give me a six-pack.

I do believe, however, that I have enough time left to get back to my goal. I only have two long runs left [an 18 and 20-miler], so the time is drawing near. These long runs have been educational, as I'm discovering more about my body. Apparently I can run for two hours without having to worry about my food/liquid consumption. But after that two-hour mark I need to carb up, otherwise, I'm dead. I purchased a huge Gatoraide pack from Sam's so I can keep it carbin' up.

As of now, and I know there's still some time to think about this, I can't say that I'll ever do another marathon. I love the idea of it, especially the chance to run through this city that I love. But I'm extremely bored of the training. Even an mp3 player can't keep me distracted enough from the continuous hours of running. After a couple of hours of running, I'm ready to check out. That's not to say that I'll be hyped-up a month from today. But when I cross that finish line, you can stick a fork in me.