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Introduction To The House of Carr
Introduction To The House of Carr

Faith

Giving It Time

I have some friends in my life that are going through some transitional times so I've committed to praying for them. This isn't unusual for me. But what's different recently is that I've committed to praying for them for a predetermined amount of time [example: 30 days] to see what God reveals.

This is rather uncharacteristic of me. I'm not a big fan of putting God on a timetable. I mean, God is the creator of time and hovers above it so I'm skeptical when people get so specific in their prayers. That said, for some reason, I just felt like suggesting it recently. Like I said, very un-me.

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Grace

There's a guy in my Xavier program who's smart . . . I mean, he's impressively intelligent. He's down to earth but can throw around five dollar words with relative ease. I've really enjoyed getting to know him. And he's an atheist.

Funny thing for an atheist to attend a Catholic university, eh?

Anyway we're in a class tonight, a course covering the development of Christian theology from the Reformation until now, and we were discussing Luther's perspective on justification by faith. Basically, Luther wrote that we are saved neither by faith nor works but by the grace of Christ [it's more nuanced than that, but it's not where I'm going with this].

So this really smart guy, the atheist, asks a question of the professor:

"What do you mean when you say the word 'grace'?"

He had never really been exposed to the theological concept that is Christian grace.

I almost wanted to turn around and excitedly explain it to him myself. The professor did a decent job of defining grace in a textbook fashion, but I found it wanting because it was devoid of the personal encounter. As I think about it, I think she defined it without any reference to Jesus [which is entirely legitimate as grace was present in the Old Testament. But I'm not sure I would now converse about the topic without noting the importance of Jesus' death].

Then again, I wondered, "if an atheist asked me, 'what is grace?' would I have an acceptable response?" As a minister with over a decade of theological schooling, I'm still not entirely sure how I would answer that question. This isn't to say that I haven't chewed on it myself; trust me, I've thought a lot about it. But I suggest that how we define grace ought to differ from person to person, i.e., we each view the grace of God differently in our own lives. And that's one of the amazing aspects of the gospel message- there is no one true definition but it can be expressed in many different ways without losing it's transformative power.

Perhaps there are times when we who are fluent in "Christianese" ought to beware that we assume people know what we're talking about. Faith is a complex matter and it never hurts to double check to make sure you're being understood.

That said, I love difficult questions. So how do you answer it:

What is grace?

Willow Creek Shake-Up

Time for a little shop talk. Unless you're into evangelical church conversation, this post might be boring. But I find this fascinating and needed to note it. During the past few years Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago, one of the largest and most influential evangelical churches in the nation, has developed a dream team of teaching pastors to take them into the future. Founder and Senior Pastor Bill Hybles went out and got some of the best communicators in the nation to join his staff so he could devote more time to overseeing national and international interests. Two of the three men he added came from my movement of churches, so I was very interested in these moves. Now, a little more than three years later, all three have resigned within a nine-week span, and one of those did so without having future employment lined up.

All the men said the right things in their resignation letters, something to the effect that "God was leading them to another place." This might indeed be true, but whenever three people get the same message, I tend to think something is up. I don't think it an unspiritual endeavor to read between the lines.

All the men left incredibly successful churches to go to Willow Creek. As Willow is known as one of the leading churches among evangelical congregations, I could see why these men thought that the jump to the "ultra-big" time was a good idea. But apparently the grass was greener on the other side. I'm not saying that Willow Creek is a bad place, but it definitely has its own culture that is more results driven than many churches. It's gotta be tough adjusting to a new role in that environment. Perhaps that's what led to these departures: when the new car smell wears off, you're still driving the same streets [my weak attempt at a deep metaphor].

I'm not sure what can be learned from this, as the true story here will most likely never surface. That said, I opine that this situation will become the norm in the years to come with many megachurches. Each leader wants to enact change on their institutions and turning them around is like maneuvering a cruise liner. That's why many ministers [um, I guess like me] choose, rather, to start their own churches. With Echo, I've been able to lead at my speed and according to my strengths. I don't have to fight an established church culture.  Of course, some guys going this route don't have the skills to start their own church and I imagine the new church failure rate will skyrocket in the years to come.

Churches are a funny thing, eh?

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Question: Do We Rock The Vote?

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I need your honest opinion. Something's running in my head and I'm wondering if I should run with it. I read all the local Cincinnati publications including City Beat, an independent weekly paper. Every year they name their "Best of Cincinnati" list, their most popular issue of the year. Among the lists of best restaurants and local stores they name a best church. For the past few years that church has been Crossroads in Oakley.

I'm wondering if this is the year we should stuff the ballot box and try to get Echo to win the title of "Cincinnati's Best Church."

Now don't get me wrong: it's not that I don't think Crossroads is a great church; I have quite a few friends on staff their and truly appreciate their ministry in the city. But they've had a good run of it and it is a little better known than Echo so they don't necessarily need that title for anything. For us, the free publicity could . . . well, at least get our name out there.

And I am very proud of our church. We're clearly not the best at any one thing, but I love our church and think it's one of the best this city has to offer.

And that's why I'm looking for your opinions. Is this a little too gimmicky for us? Is it lame? Would we be trying to hard to get some free pub?

Honestly, I could go either way. I'm not that hard up for affirmation but if enough people were interested, I think we could get this thing going. Likewise, if enough of you faithful readers thought it was a dumb idea, I would accept.

So leave a comment below and let me know.

I Must Protest

Had a great time on Saturday attending the wedding of our neighbors Dustin and Teresa. It took place at the beautiful St Monica's church in Clifton Heights. The church, it should be noted, was absolutely gorgeous. It was the first Catholic wedding that Kelly and I have attended. And although I've been to mass before, it was Kelly's first Catholic service altogether. When you're a Protestant in a Catholic service, you feel out of place. There are a lot of aspects to Catholic worship that are learned over years of attendance [and confirmation class]. And even though I have my Cincinnati westside credentials, which makes me at least partially Catholic, I couldn't keep up; I was always late standing up, sitting down or kneeling. I have quite a few theological objections to Catholicism, and can be embarrassed by its legacy, but I refuse to dismiss all the good the Catholic church has done and is doing in this world. In short, I'm not switching sides but I won't Catholic bash either.

From my recent experiences, I could see why many Protestants choose to convert to Catholicism; there's a certain comfort in the liturgy that is absent in many Protestant churches. And there's a certain reverence of God, perhaps a mystic quality, that is somewhat attractive. Confirming this is many people I observe in my master's program at Xavier who are Catholic converts.

Likewise, I can understand why Catholics flee for evangelical churches. When you have no other frame of reference but that of a distant God who requires pageantry and exact language, you might navigate towards more simplistic form of worship.

It is a good reminder to me as a Protestant minister, living in a Catholic city, attending a Catholic graduate school, of balancing the kind of worship we encourage in our church. Remembering God as dwelling afar, as well as in our midst.

In Pursuit

Excited to here how things went today with Matt Mehaffey, a fellow CCU alum, whose crew officially started a new church in Miami, Florida this morning. Pursuit Christian Church is now officially open for business. Starting a new church is the craziest thing I've ever done in my life and I have much respect for anyone who has ever done it. If you have the desire to do a "missions trip" anytime soon, I know they still could use help. I'm just hoping they'll need someone to fill-in preach sometime soon. I would labor for the Lord on South Beach . . . if I had to.

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Understanding the Interwebs

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A few months ago a caught wind of a video made by some guys at my alma mater entitled Price Hill Girlz. Take a look at it now if you haven't seen it yet. Pretty good work. I have no tolerance when it comes inappropriate  [read: racist] humor and this didn't even make the radar. I realized that the viral nature of the video was picking up as two people with absolutely no connection to Cincinnati Christian University emailed me the video this last week. Apparently it hit the media this week as both a local television station and radio station commented on the video. Media vultures: if there's even a hint that you can lambaste Christians for something that could be deemed "unspiritual," they're all over it.

It is my understanding that the emergence of this video left the school's administration scrambling as the inevitable "I'm offended" calls started to come in. I'm not quite sure how they've handled it. The video was originally pulled from YouTube earlier this week but someone else put it right back up. Hopefully the students who made it don't face any repercussion, especially since I did much worse than making a stupid video like that when I was in school.

If you take a look at some of the local buzz surrounding it [even from a liberal mag], many in the community seem to get it: it's a joke. It shows that CCU students are somewhat relevant and have a good sense of humor. In fact, this viral video has done as a good a job marketing the school than renting out billboards and bus ads.

Speaking as a former president of the university's alumni association, as well as a former employee who worked in the field of student recruiting, I'd take a different angle with these guys: I'd get them to make more videos. This kind of stuff resonates with seventeen and eighteen year-old kids. Plus, despite people who get ticked-off at anything and will voice their opposition, I think it gives the community a new perspective of the school, showing the creativity of its students.

The internet, and the way this emerging generation uses it, is forcing high school and college administrators to grapple with how they interact with the students. In many cases, faculty and staff are uncertain of what students are doing out on the world wide web and their natural response by officials is fear. But you can't keep kids away from the internet; it's now a part of their life and their education. Instead, they need to make concerted efforts to understand their online habits so, when something like a video going viral makes waves, they react responsibly.

All in all, not a big deal.

The Fifth Gospel

This Sunday night I'll be teaching from 1 Samuel 17: the conflict between David and Goliath. I've enjoyed preparing this week, excited to give further insight to a popular Biblical tale. One of the reasons I'm looking forward to it is that Kelly and I were able to stand in the Valley of Elah, the location of the epic battle, during our visit to Israel in 2005. Of course, I'll have pictures and a laser pointer ready to go. My dream is to one day be able to spend a summer sabbatical in Israel to spend extended time exploring the numerous holy sites. The land where the Bible took place is breathtaking; people have spent careers researching small aspects of archaeological sites. The great wealth of information that can be gleaned there has earned the land of Israel the distinction of "The Fifth Gospel." Indeed, a trip to Israel transforms the way that people think about the Bible.

An example of this is found in David Plotz, writer for Slate and a non-observant Jew, who read through the Bible without any commentaries, noting everything he observed. As part of the project he took a trip to Israel to see some sights, participate in an archaeology dig, and blog about his experience.

While at a place known as Maresha, an amazing site near the coastal plain that we were able to visit on our trip, he had an epiphany:

"It's a eureka moment for me. Suddenly, the wars of the Bible that made no sense on the page are perfectly comprehensible. The geography explains it all: On this side is the backward hill kingdom of Judah. On that side is the technologically advanced coastal kingdom of the Philistines. And here, in between them, is the fortress line that must not break. Standing on this ancient hilltop, looking over a landscape that has not changed much since the Book of Kings . . . I can see the Bible more clearly than I read it. To my right, the mighty nations of the coast; to my left, a tiny tribal kingdom with only one god and the germ of a great civilization—the beginning of our world."

Many people who dismiss the Biblical story as mythology have never been to the Holy Lands. It makes it even more difficult to ignore that there is something about this book. I'm not saying that the archaeology proves the Biblical story; faith is still necessary. But it does speak as powerfully as the Biblical text itself.

Passing In The Night

Still not feeling great this week. For the second consecutive year an Ohio State National Championship loss coincided with personal illness to make life miserable. As a result, I don't feel much like typing but I have to get some stuff down before I get too far removed. Sunday was an interesting day.

I started a new Sunday morning gig this week. For the past four months or so I was the interim worship leader at my home church. It was great to spend time around old friends who have seen me grow up, but it was time to force them to find a more permanent replacement. It just so happened that an door opened to give me an exit.

Franklin Chapel is a church in Clermont County [New Richmond, to be exact], about 20 miles up river from downtown, where I preached a few months in college. Eventually I'll elaborate on my relationship with this church, but they happened to contact me a month ago asking if I'd come in and preach for them part-time. So I was excited to get things started there this week. Sunday morning service was a little empty.

There were seven people. Including me.

The church has been around for over 150 years and now they're clinging to life. I'm going to preach through April and then we'll reevaluate what needs to happen there. I'm sure I'll have some interesting experiences to share here throughout the months to come.

Then, Sunday night, the gathering at Echo was a look back at 2007 while looking forward to 2008. It was crazy as we had many of our "regulars" still gone but we had about ten visitors. We even had eight kids, more than we've ever had. The dynamic of the room was different as I spoke, but I always get enthusiastic when talking about our vision for Echo, so it was a very good time. After the gathering, we had a food/fellowship time and didn't get home until 9:30.

At the end of the day I was exhausted, but I was energized because of our night at Echo.

As difficult as it has been starting a new church, it is always exciting. We understand that we're always near extinction so we have to be determined to make things happen. Sunday night there was a great vibe at Echo. I'm starting to feel the momentum building, realizing that our hard work is paying off. Sunday morning, at Franklin Chapel, was entirely different. There was a desperation present. The people are beat down, and are looking for anything to get them excited.

Ironically, it wasn't too long ago that there were only seven people at Echo, but we were going forward instead of reverse.

I guess what I'm saying is that I just had a sincere appreciation on Sunday night, after my morning experience, for how far we've come as a church. We're still making mistakes, we haven't experienced considerable growth, but we're released to do an important, exciting ministry that is still new. I'm not sure if Echo will last 150 years, but if it does I pray that it continues to be an exciting place to be.

One of the saddest things to witness is a dying church.

But one of the most exciting things to see is a church beginning to roll.

Understanding Old Testament Wrath

What do I teach on Sunday nights? Well, basically the Bible. But I thought I'd let you know what I taught earlier this evening. Currently I'm teaching through the Old Testament books of 1&2 Samuel. 1 Samuel 15 details the God-ordered genocide of the Amalekite people. Not a very seeker-sensitive, "God is love" message to teach about. There are usually a few different ways Christians handle a text like this: you can ignore it, you can explain it away is irrelevant to modern life or you can accept it and then ignore it.

My approach is to take it and rub it in people's faces.

You see, I'm of the opinion that if I'm going to embrace Christianity, I should take it for all it is, not just what I prefer it would be. Ironically, King Saul, who disobeys God's command in 1 Samuel 15, took the "what I prefer" route. He decided to accept God's commands as far as it was convenient to him which led him towards self-idolization and, eventually, contributes to his downfall.

So back to the Amalekite genocide, it's tough for people to synchronize these kind of texts with Christianity. In researching the topic this week I read one person dismiss this story stating, “The writers of the Old Testament often use their medium as polemic to justify ungodly things.” In short, they think Old Testament writers made up the narratives to make themselves look holy while committing this slaughter. Such people arrive at this conclusion because they believe it conflicts with the message of Jesus. Therefore, they assert, the Old Testament texts are contrived because they object with what Jesus said.

That's all well and good except that Jesus himself believed the Old Testament to be true [for examples of this, reference Matthew 5:18, Matthew 15:6, and John 10:35]. If you truly follow Jesus' teachings, you are forced to wrestle with what to do with these texts. It is not easily explained as Old Testament = God of Wrath, New Testament = God of Love.

So was God just ticked off and felt like opening a can off whoop *** on people? Well, it's more complicated than this. Understanding the history of the Amalekites, who tried to annihilate the Israelites, is a good starting point. Understanding that war in the Ancient Near East was primarily waged in order to gain plunder and God commanded that they take none also helps to understand this. And even understanding the strict, unparalleled guidelines found in the Torah that dictated how war was to be waged is critical. But the most important principle to observe here is this: God’s character is consistent thoughout history but the manner by which he unleashes both His holiness and His wrath varies.

While some assume that the wrath of God declined from Old Testament days until now, this is not the case. The ultimate refutation of this is hell. Hell would be the unequalled unleashing of the wrath of God which would be realized at the end of the world. So the greatest example of his wrath has yet to occur.

So you can't pull out 1 Samuel 15 and let it stand alone in order to critique Christianity because it fits within the scope of the Biblical narrative. There are numerous instances throughout the Bible where God unleashes his wrath on his own people. And therein lies the heart of the Christian message: all of us humans actually deserve the wrath of God, but by his grace we are enabled to avoid it.

This is why I love teaching through the Bible chapter-by-chapter: it forces me to deal with topics I would normally skip over. If I choose to avoid certain texts because they're difficult or unpleasant I'm cheating myself out of the opportunity to really grapple with my faith.

The podcast of this teaching will be up in the next week or so. I go much more in depth than I did here, so if you want to see where I went with this.

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A Friend of Ours

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In today's Enquirer you can find a story on Christ's Community Church in Price Hill. It's a unique organization of house churches that meets on the westside. We at Echo have quite a few connections with them: worked/went to Israel with Ken and they helped us with our Adopt-A-Family last year. They're a great group of people. For those readers who aren't familiar with the un-institutionalized church, this is an informative read.

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The Times, They Are A-Changing

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Oral Roberts University is reeling from the mess made by President Richard Roberts [son of Oral] who resigned this past weekend. It's interesting that the President was done in by his own faculty and staff who could no longer ignore his misuse of school resources. It was a big step for these people to stand up to Roberts, especially considering his name, as well as his role as a spiritual leader. Throughout the past years of American evangelical scandal [especially those within the Pentecostal realm] you would usually see these leaders protected by his underlings. Perhaps the Ted Haggard situation taught people that institutions could survive these scandals if they were handled quickly and truthfully.

The real reason I note this situation is an interesting quote in this article concerning the way the ORU situation was handled by those within. To me it says a lot about the current state of American Christianity:

"'There was a time when the wagons would circle and we'd protect our own,' said the Rev. Carlton Pearson, a former member of the ORU board of regents who is now a United Church of Christ minister. 'But we don't know what our own is anymore. People are asking questions and questioning answers, and we're not used to it.'"

I guess it's true: we don't know what 'our own' is anymore. So maybe this reinforces the idea that we have entered an age where it no longer matters what your family lineage is, or what kind of title you wear, or what denominational name is attached to your church as those are no longer acceptable litmus tests for one's beliefs. We can no longer place our trust in the words themselves. 'Christian' is now an incredibly broad term that a few billion people claim, let alone all the other ones that have now become indecipherable [and I'm not convinced that substituting "Christ follower" for "Christian" really makes any difference]. This is one of the many reasons I abhor vision statements: just because I name it doesn't make it true.

In the end, it comes down to what you embody as an individual or an organization; i.e, you are what you are. Words will only get you so far.

Out Of Sync

My Sunday night thought vomit ahead. Let's see where it takes me. Last week was somewhat brutal. Among other things:

  • I was finally getting over a cold while Kelly was developing one.
  • The National Missionary Convention was in many ways a blessing, but it also ran me ragged. I did get to carry around a walkie talkie [Travolta asks, "ain't it cool?"] but that meant people were constantly asking me things that I didn't know. I also walked miles around the convention center this week which gets old rather quickly.
  • I still attempted to go to class this week but was somewhat frustrated with aspects of the discussions we had.
  • Both our dishwasher and freezer went on the fritz when I had no time to examine them.
  • I did play indoor soccer [late] Friday night, scored a goal but missed two easy other ones. I think it was because I was exhausted, but I felt a little old out there. I hate that.
  • While the Buckeyes gave me something to smile about, I was bummed last night when the Bearcats couldn't get it done verses West Virginia. That could've been awesome.
  • There was a bird stuck in our chimney this afternoon. Well, I think it was stuck in the chase [between the flue and the outer cover] and I couldn't figure out how to get it out. It's no longer making noise so while I'm optimistic that it made it out, I'm afraid it died in there.
  • A guest of someone in our condo didn't set the brake in their car and it rolled into somebody's deck, then into the street. It's amazing that no one was injured.
  • The Bengals . . . well, you know.
  • I performed a Sunday afternoon wedding right before church.

So with all this going on, I was glad I had Larry Budde preach for me tonight; it was one less thing to have to worry about this week. Larry is the first person besides Aaron or me to teach at Echo. He did an incredible job. Some church should hire him to preach. Tye did a great job leading worship and artfully transitioned into our communion time. Susan filled in with our children's ministry tonight and excelled. Tim, Tim, and Dale moved like a perfectly oiled machine, setting up and tearing down in no time flat.

Basically . . . tonight . . .  was . . . flawless.

And . . . um . . . I had nothing to do with it.

It's been an incredibly humbling experience to be a part of Echo and to appreciate the talents that God has assembled in our little church. As closely tied my life is to Echo, it's wonderful to be reminded again that it's more than me.

Additionally, as we focus on thoughts of thanksgiving this week, it's difficult for me to get too down on all these negative things in my life. After a few days observing missionaries, seeing the many sacrifices they make to share their faith, I feel like a tool for even thinking about seeking pity.

I have a beautiful wife, a precious child, a supportive family, a fantastic church, encouraging friends and, above all, an amazing God.

I . . . am . . . blessed.

Even when I'm not feeling quite right, I'm doing alright.

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One Flew Over The Atheist's Nest

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From the New York Times: Antony Flew, a retired Oxford educated atheist, is now coming out in his old age as a believer in a higher power. Evangelicals shouldn't get too excited as he doesn't claim to believe in Christianity, but I do find it fascinating that a person can totally deviate from one's life beliefs like this. He has a book due out soon. Should be an interesting read.

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Do As I Say

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The crazy Pat Robertson news of the day should be concerning the news that China will ban Bibles from the Olympic Village for next year's games. Doesn't this seem perfectly tailored PR story where he can decry the adverse influences of the godless Chinese government? Instead, crazy Uncle Pat comes out and endorses Rudy Giuliani, a man with whom he has major philosophical/theological differences, for President. Basically, Robertson defends this decision because he sees Rudy as someone who "can win the general election.”

He picked the wrong horse. He should have endorsed Hillary. Here's how I arrive at this conclusion:

1) Basically, the way I read it, Pat picked Rudy because he thinks he can win the Presidency. So instead of holding to his (shaky) beliefs, he kicks them to the curb and goes for the "W." Well if that's how he chooses his endorsement, why not go all the way and pick the HRC?

2) I'm pretty confident in saying that the Robertson endorsement isn't what it once was, if it ever really was anything in the first place. I'll go even further and say that Rudy is actually worse off having Pat back him [no one really seeks out that Ted Kaczynski endorsement, do they?]. If Uncle Pat really wants the Republicans to win, he would've been better served to back Hillary.

In short, Robertson Endorsement = Black Death.

This ensures Rudy will not win in 2008.

The Little Incidents

So it rained a lot the past few days. We know this because water is leaking in our walls around our flue pipe. At least we won't have to pay for it because it should be covered with our condo fees.

But the rain altered Kelly and Kaelyn's daily routine of getting the mail from the mailbox.

I'm the man, I should get wet.

My neighbors were out by the mailbox and I started to explain to them our condo leakage, encouraging them to check their chimney area. As I stood their talking with them, I struggled to open our mailbox. The key wouldn't go in.

This is interesting too because we had a new mailbox installed a couple of weeks ago. The local post office is dragging its feet getting us the brand new keys so we're still using the old box. The box where the keys don't work well.

So my neighbors want to check to see if their place has water leakage and don't want to wait for me to get my mail so they go inside.

Immediately after they go inside, I finally get the box opened and pull out our mail. Prominently displayed on the top of my mail is a magazine.

A Playboy Magazine.

[Quick Sidebar: I can imagine the perverts doing a Google search for "Playboy Magazine" ending up at this blog post and being severly disappointed. Sorry, guys, no nekked pics here].

Understand that I do not subscribe to said magazine. It must have been sent to me by someone getting my name/address on a mailing list. I bet it was those people at Biblical Archaeology Review [now there's a link for the perverts].

And understand that I did not look at the contents of the magazine. I did what a self-respecting man would've done.

I gave it to my wife.

And I told her it wasn't mine.

Come to find out, it wasn't really a magazine but a catalog. Who knew they even had a catalog [be careful how you answer that]? But, honestly, you couldn't tell that from the cover. It looked identically like a Playboy magazine . . . or at least the ones I've seen portrayed on television.***

All this had me thinking all night [and not about nekked chics].

I'm trying to show my neighbors [the ones who I talked to at the mailbox], who aren't Christian, that our faith can be relevant to a normal life. Additionally, I'd like to exemplify that we can also live up to a certain moral standard. Does me getting Playboy Magazine hurt my [moral] reputation with them? Probably. At the very worst, if they saw me pull that magazine from our box I'd have to stutter about how "it's not really mine" [doesn't everyone claim that?] and awkwardly explain why it was in our box in the first place. So maybe it doesn't hurt my cause in their eyes, but I can't imagine that it would help.

And that's when I trace this whole thing back to a string of little incidents.

It was raining so I went to get the mail instead of Kelly and Kaelyn. Imagine her shock if she had gotten the mail, while holding our daughter, especially in front of those neighbors. It would probably have been embarrassing. But it didn't happen.

Of course, Kel and Kaelyn didn't go out to get the mail because of all the rain. The same rain that caused the leak in our house. And the rain was the conversation piece that I used with my neighbors, leaving them wondering about the dryness of their own condo so that they went inside. Otherwise, they might have kept talking with me and have seen my retrieve a Playboy from my mailbox. But it didn't happen.

Another thing that prolonged me from getting the mail out of the box was because I was fumbling with the key. It's an old key and doesn't work that well. We were supposed to be using those new mailboxes now, which would've used new keys. A new key would've probably worked perfectly. If the key worked the first time, my neighbors would've definitely seen a Playboy in my daily mail. But it didn't happen.

I'm not saying all this happened because God was looking out for me.

Well, maybe I am.

I just thought it was interesting how all these little incidents, however troubling, made my day.

And all that without having to see nekked chics.

***Just in case you're wondering, Kelly looked at how to get taken off their mailing list and it told you to send a letter snail mail with your full information and your customer order code. If you never ordered anything with them, why do you have a customer code in the first place?